28-year-old refuses to pay for their 14 and 15-year-old step siblings' education, spends their savings on their bio siblings tuition instead as promised: 'Dad accused me of “punishing” his wife’s kids'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

The oldest sibling scored a high-paying job in the tech industry, but that doesn't suddenly make them the third parent of 4 teenagers. Although this 28-year-old promised her bio siblings that she would help them pay for college, she didn't expect to spend all of her savings throwing her new step-siblings on the invoice as well, but her dad and his new family thought otherwise. 

Older siblings really do become the third parent, don't they?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10554890240
    via roshinio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's a parent's responsibility to take care of their child, not the oldest sibling. While the eldest gets stuck occasionally, stepping up and being responsible, financially, they should never have to support their siblings. This older sibling decided to do so out of the kindness of her own heart, but when she gave them 2 college tuitions, the greedy parents asked for 4 instead. Sorry, Dad, but I don't know my step-siblings, and perhaps it's time for you to get a second job to follow through on your own parenting responsibilities…

  • AITA for not paying for my dad's new wife's kids' college when I promised to cover my siblings'?
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • I (28F) make good money in tech. A few years ago, I told my two younger siblings (19M, 17F) that when the time came, I'd help pay for their college since my dad couldn't.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • They were thrilled, and I've been saving specifically for them. Recently, my dad remarried a woman (36F) who has two kids (16M, 15F).
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Now he's pressuring me to "be fair" and split my savings four ways instead of two. He says they're "family now" and it's selfish to "pick favorites."
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • But I never made that promise to them. I don't even know them well, and I worked hard to set aside money for my siblings.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Cheezburger Image 10554887936
    via StockLte

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My dad called me cold. and accused me of "punishing" his wife's kids just because they're not blood- related. My siblings are upset too, they feel like their future is being stolen.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • My stepmom keeps saying "love makes a family," but I don't think it means I should foot the bill. AITA for refusing to split the money?
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Material Cellist41 NTA But just say... "I will match whatever stepmother put an into my bio-siblings fund. You know
    via Material Cellist41
  • so we can keep everything good and fair. Because if we are doing something for her kids, she needs to do something for my siblings." They won't say much after that.
    via Material Cellist41
  • BreakfastOk163. NTA you made a promise to your siblings and you are keeping it. These other children have (presumably) two parents who are
    via BreakfastOk163
  • responsible for their education. Your dad should be thrilled you are helping your own siblings, that's actually his job.
    via BreakfastOk163
  • Decent_Front4647 . NTA. They're just trying to manipulate you to get what they want.
    via Decent_Front4647
  • OverRice2524 I'd just agree. Yep, I'm not paying money to people who aren't blod related to me. Your dad chose to remarry, he chose his new wife and their children, you didn't. He
    via OverRice2524
  • doesn't get to insist you suddenly pay for two strangers. Guess it's time for him to get a 2nd job. NTA
    via OverRice2524

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family drama dads famiies drama kids brother siblings moms parenting pay back pay dad story family education sibling sister stories parent mom money cousins college parents
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